Retro Review: The Beach

When Hollywood is faced with idea or image of paradise, why does it always become so bloody?

“The Beach” marks the return of Leonardo DiCaprio to the silver screen after his frozen corpse disappeared off the edge of the Titanic. DiCaprio joins with “Trainspotting” director Danny Boyle as a twenty something year old, Richard, exploring the allure of the Far East.

He takes a room in a seedy motel where he comes in contact with a psychotic drug-user Daffy (played by Robert Carlyle). Daffy shares a joint with DiCaprio and tells him of a paradise that no man should mistake is there. He tells an urban legend about a mythical beach incased in cliffs and cut off from the world. DiCaprio shrugs it off as a wild story until the next morning where he finds a map tacked to his door.

“The Beach” could have been a beautiful romance set against an epic adventure as Leo’s character teams up with a young French couple to find the mythical “Beach”. But when we are introduced to what makes the mythical island tick the movie takes a strange “Lord of the Flies” direction as the island’s world will do what ever it takes to preserve their paradise.

The scenery and imagery director Boyle conveys brings you in and captivates your attention. The beginning’s scope and deliverance reminded me a lot of “The Blue Lagoon” and “Castaway”. Both of these films had great potential but ran out of story before reaching fruition.

“The Beach” instead mixes the potential seen in “The Blue Lagoon” with an acid trip from “Lord of the Flies”. The end result is heavily flawed hero that you either hate or you are extremely confused about. This is no way to paint an adventure hero.

As a critic I will pity the masses hoping for another epic romance from DiCaprio. So exactly where does the “Beach” fit into Leo’s acting career. I would have to say it proves undeniably the melding and molding his career is taking.

The first half of the film we have the Hollywood star but as the film enters its second half we see the heavily flawed characters he treasured earlier in his career. The films I am referring to are “Total Eclipse” and “Basketball Diaries”.

“The Beach” does deliver a lot of allure which made me want to see a really good island adventure movie. Which did make me wonder did this film ever want to really explore that avenue. Coupled with that allure, I found myself feeling more for the heroine Françoise (played by beautiful French newcomer Virginie Ledoyen) then for Leo’s Richard. Why does paradise always have to destroy man? Well it destroyed the Beach.

3.5 out of 5

So says the Soothsayer.

Retro Review: A Beautiful Mind

What lurks in the back of our heads? What feasts on our fears and desires? How much of that is exactly real and how much is a product of our imaginations?

Director Ron Howard delivers us deep into the mind of a reluctant genius as he verges on the breakthrough of a lifetime. John Nash (Russell Crowe) was a mathematician, who brought us revolutionary economic theory that changed the face of economics for all time. John Nash was also schizophrenic and insane.

The true life and story of John Nash takes us back to his early Princeton days through his trying relationship with his wife (Jennifer Connelly) and eventually uncovering his hidden secret buried deep within his mind.

Director Ron Howard cleverly weaves the tale so that we don’t know when Nash actually cracks and when his schizophrenia comes to the surface.

This element is what makes Beautiful Mind so intriguing to watch. The idea of that we know this person is having problems but until it’s fully diagnosed we believe what he believes. We also never know when that part of his life actually does become fully absorbed into the mental disorder.

Howard’s illusions and misleading sidebars are helped a lot by the incredible performance by Russell Crowe’s John Nash. It’s literally incredible watching this actor rebuild himself as a shallow recluse who believes people don’t like him so he always stays in the background.

It's gotta be here somewhere! I can't find it!

Then watching Crowe evolve this silently disturbed man into an older man dealing with his demons is such an inspiration. That is purely the reason I think there is so much passion in Crowe and Howard’s direction. This is supposed to be an inspiration to us all.

I was also very impressed with the supporting performance by Jennifer Connelly. She has come a long way since her debut in the John Hughes comedy Career Opportunities. Does this woman ever age? She has the same beauty and screen presence she displayed back then and in The Rocketeer, her other notable leading performance.

Howard also reunites with Ed Harris who delivers a good performance as a G-man spook but his role is very limited so it isn’t showcased very much.

Look its a bird! Its a plane! Oh, forget it!

Hands down Beautiful Mind is the best film Howard has done since Apollo 13 and probably the 2nd best film of the veteran filmmaker’s career. It’s that good.

This film will probably deliver Crowe his third Oscar nod and possibly Howard a best director and best picture. What would be a surprise is seeing Harris nominated in the supporting category. Harris is a veteran actor who is always brilliant but no awards ever seem to acknowledge the man.

5 out of 5

So Says the Soothsayer.

Retro Review: Battlefield Earth

Dreadlocked aliens turn mankind into an endangered species. Guess whose their leader?

Battlefield: Earth is the adaptation of the best-selling science fiction novel of the same name. Written by scientologist guru L. Ron Hubbard, Battlefield tells the story of the universe conquering Psychlos who are bent on gathering as much profit for their empire as possible. Unthreatened by a “man-animal” named Johnny, the Psychlos decide to rape the Earth of its last natural resources. Once completed the entire population humans will be eliminated. It’s up to Johnny to free his people and lead a revolt.

I guess the best way to describe this film is comparing it to other sci-fi classics of the past. The world Johnny struggles to free is right out of that great classic cartoon series from the ’80s called “Thundarr the Barbarian” or even “Planet of the Apes”. The Psychlos are a mixture of Klingons and Ferrengi from Star Trek.

The dogfight scenes are classically ripped off of films like “Independence Day” and “Godzilla”. It seems each and every element in this film originated somewhere else. Hubbard may have come up with this concept before these other references but with such a saturated sci-fi market they look like pale imitations.

As I watch John Travolta walking around looking like a Jamaican trapped in a KISS video, it makes me wonder was this the project he envisioned when trying so hard to get this sci-fi film off the ground.

He produced and had a huge take in this film’s success. His character is devilish but so over the top arrogant I wonder if he is supposed to be laughed at throughout the film. I know I laughed pretty hard.

As for other star Barry Pepper, he is able to unlock some charisma in his unoriginal “gung-ho” character. At least we feel a little for the guy. What bugged me is that when he sends one of his men to his doom we never see an ounce of emotion. I did however find that with every character in this film.

Also some of the language and dialogue was so ridiculous you would often scratch your head in disbelief that it was actually said.

For instance, they claim to have wiped out the human race in 9 minutes but they never think to scout the civilization for raw materials. How could aliens this dumb reign so supreme?

Battlefield: Earth is one of those sci-fi films where you pray the novel is better than the film. If this is a classic story or novel no one ever told me. Blech!

1 out of 5

So Says the Soothsayer.

Retro Review: Bedazzled

Brendan Fraser plays a guy seduced by devilish Elizabeth Hurley. Are there any guys out there that don’t envy this guy?

Fraser plays a schmuck named Elliot Richards who yearns for the love of the beautiful Alison Gardner (Frances O’Connor). One day Elliot makes a wish that he would do anything to be apart of that girl’s life. At that moment a billiard ball strikes his shoe and a dazzling temptress (Elizabeth Hurley) looks deep into his eyes from across the room. Before Elliot realizes it he is playing pool with this temptress. She asks all these questions about what he would exactly do to get Alison.

Elliot is captivated by this woman and follows her around until she reveals that she is indeed the “devil”. Elliot doesn’t believe her and asks for proof. Eventually Elliot gets convinced and he is given 7 wishes for his soul.

Will Elliot ever get Allison? Will Elliot be able to find his way out of this arrangement?

Fraser is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors. I really liked his comedic timing and depth in this film. He has to play all the very different Elliots which show he has a great range. Fraser has left the Jay Ward cartoon adaptations behind and is becoming a very versatile actor.

Hurley is breathtaking, captivating and putting aside the pun, devilish. Her on screen presence will make us all want to meet the devil.

“Bedazzled” is based on a 1967 film of the same name starring Raquel Welch and Dudley Moore. I liked this predictable comedy because of its stars. I also really enjoyed that Hollywood recast the devil as a woman. I think that angle added spice and delight to Elliot’s world.

Another brilliant casting was Fraser who in every new Elliot wish plays a new man and its Fraser who makes us howl as he always finds a mistake in the wish. There is one of the wishes that will really surprise you. Write me if you know the one I mean.

One thing they left out of this adaptation was the addition of the Seven Deadly Sins which advise Dudley Moore (in the original) on each wish. Instead in the current film we have Hurley in a different sultry outfit. Not that I am complaining but the Sins did add something to the first film. The new movie really works because of the stars not necessarily because of the story.

One other small problem I had with the film was the running time. Bedazzled is only about 90 minutes and some of the wishes seem kind of rushed. I would have liked to have lived a bit longer in a couple of Elliot’s wishes. Plus what happened to the scene in the trailer involving red bikini-clad Hurley and the snake? Did a wish actually end up on the cutting room floor? Can anyone say DVD added feature?

Still Bedazzled is a hilarious and star-driven movie.

4 out of 5

So Says the Soothsayer.

Retro Review: Be Cool

Chili Palmer is probably one of the most interesting characters John Travolta has brought to the screen right beside Vincent Vega and Tony Manero. Travolta’s gangster with an obsession with the movie business was such a delight in 1995’s “Get Shorty”. So why did it take him 10 years to step back into Chili’s shoes?

“Be Cool” finds slick gangster Chili Palmer visiting with record mogul Tommy Athens (James Woods). Athens wants Chili to produce a movie on his life but really Chili just wants out of the movie business. As their meeting concludes, Chili exits to the men’s room and the patio where he met with Athens is littered with bullets from a drive-by shooting leaving Athens dead. Welcome to the music business, Chili.

Chili visits Edie Athens (Uma Thurman), the widow of Tommy Athens, where he asks Edie if he could become her new partner on the record label left to her by Tommy. She agrees.

Chili’s first project as a new record mogul is to try to launch singing sensation Linda Moon (Christina Milian). The only people standing in Chili’s way are a corrupt record mogul (Harvey Keitel), her manager Raji (Vince Vaughn) and his muscle, Elliot Wilhelm (The Rock).

How different is the music business from the movie business? Will Chili fit in this time? Will he be able to help out Moon?

“Be Cool” is one of those comedies that looks good on paper but suffers from a lack of jokes.

What is its saving grace are some solid performances from Travolta and The Rock. Travolta is flawless in his return to the character and is excellent as the cool straight hitman to all the zany characters around him. One of those zany characters is The Rock’s flamboyant and sexually-confused thug. His performance is utterly hilarious as he makes fun of himself in so many ways. He is such a riot.

I also liked the performances from Cedric the Entertainer and rapper Andre 3000 who play characters who also have an invested interest in Moon. Cedric has such a strong presence and has the perfect way of blending comedy and serious in his character. His sidekick Andre is a trigger-happy thug who seems to be a little unbalanced.

The faults I had with the film were the extremely annoying and painful performance by Vince Vaughn and the utterly wasted performance from Uma Thurman. Vaughn’s whole character ruined so many things in this movie for me. As for Thurman, her role was so two-dimensional that a lot of the time I wondered why she was even in the film.

I also had some problems with following the plot and who was related to whom and what their interest was in either Moon or Edie’s indie record label. I also found myself missing Barry Sonnenfeld who directed the first film. His timing and style is deeply missed here.

As a whole I was disappointed in some respects with the sequel to the now classic 90’s comedy, “Get Shorty”.

3 out of 5

So Says the Soothsayer.