MOVIE MADNESS #98: THE COURIER

I have always liked Jeffrey Dean Morgan. He has that vulnerable, everyman presence mixed with leading man appeal. But like so many underrated actors, he chooses projects that really never show his talents. (Well except for “Watchmen” and “The Losers”)

In his latest direct to DVD venture, Morgan plays a courier who specializes in underworld deliveries and is infamous for his tracking and locating hard to find targets. When his father-figure (Mark Margolis) is threatened, he has 60 hours to deliver a briefcase to one of New Orleans’s most elusive hitmen, Evil Silvie.

You would think with a premise this easy and being a knock-off of “The Transporter”, it would be a walk in the park to make this film. Well you’d be dead wrong. It is like they over-thinked the movie. The movie is paint-by-numbers for the first two acts and then it all goes in the crapper. And it all leads to an ending that is probably the worst I have seen in recent memory.

They introduce the shadowy figure (Mickey Rourke) pulling the strings in stages: first in the shadows, then through the eyes of a young boy, then finally as an Elvis impersonator. What was the point of this if the ending doesn’t make any sense?

They try and add a love interest (Josie Ho) to Morgan but I am still baffled to why she is even in the movie for more than one scene. Her history and motive is never really executed clearly.

The performances are very dull. Morgan tries but fails. Ho never leaves an impact. Rourke only really has one scene since the others are all just basically his voice. The direction is stale and none of the scenes or shots are very memorable.

I just don’t get this movie and it took two writers to write this crap.

1 out of 5

So Says the Soothsayer

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