Retro Review: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

The Goods is a movie inspired by movies like the classic Used Cars and in some respects Cadillac Man.

It is about a group of freelance car salesman who come try to help a struggling car dealership owner (James Brolin) from going belly-up on the 4th of July. Their leader is Don Ready (Jeremy Piven) who claims he cheated a kid out of his Big Wheel when he was only six. In other words he has the Goods!

Don Ready could definitely be a cousin or much sleazier brother to Ari Gold because Piven places him very similiar to the way he plays Ari. Except Don isn’t really at all likeable. The movie sets him up as this folk hero but then in the film’s third act, they forget who the movie is even about.

The film is full of filthy jokes but instead of the audience laughing at the jokes they are laughing at just how wrong this movie is. All the laughs in the trailer are gone within the first 20 minutes of the movies. And it just gets awful and then well Will Ferrell shows up and it hits an all-time low.

Originally called The Goods: The Don Ready Story, The Goods was a project designed to turn Jeremy Piven into a leading man. The problem is that he never really has been a leading man. He’s a great character actor, scene stealer and full of talent but not a leading man.

The only time Piven has ever been a great leading man was when he did that great quickly forgotten series Cupid in the early 90s with Paula Marshall. He was a leading man and well even a romantic lead. But since his awards on Entourage and now everyone knowing him as Ari Gold he seems to have lost what made him special in Cupid. I think he has forgotten he is not a one-trick pony.

Piven deserves way, way, way better than this!

1 out of 5

So Says the Soothsayer

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