Top 10 Pint-Sized Movie Monsters: Part One

There have been oodles of monster countdowns. There have been ones about “giant monsters”, “sea creatures”, “classic monsters” and “human-sized monsters” so where was all love for the little monsters!

In the spirit of Halloween, we will take a look at those small monsters people quickly forget.

#10 C.H.U.D.

There is no real way to describe what a CHUD is. I think that is why they came up with the name being an acronym for “Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller.” These beings of the sewer terrorized New York citizens including John Heard, Daniel Stern, Robert Vaughn and June Lockhart in two films. At first glance you might call them tiny cousins of Morlocks from The Time Machine. But really they are just ugly, slimy nasty little buggers.

#9 Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

First of all I wanna meet the guy that thought up the idea that Killer produce was a marketable idea in Hollywood. This indie movie became an indie sensation with multiple sequels in the 80s and I can still hear the theme  song in my head. If you can forget the idiocy of the plot and the illogical idea that a tomato can become conscious and crave blood then you will laugh your butt off at this flick. The tomatoes make our list because these tiny psychotic produce may be funnier than hell but they are still monsters. Not to mention they harass George Clooney in the sequel.

#8 Quatto

Who in their right mind can forget Quatto when seeing the movie, Total Recall. Man lifts up shirt goes into trance as his stomach starts talking to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now that is one creepy beer belly.

“Quuuaaaaiiiiidddd, release your mind!”

Quatto is also the most powerful small monster on our list as he is the leader of the Martian resistance and he asks for Arnie’s help. My question is which mouth does he eat through? Does Quatto have a social life? Are there female Quatto? Oh and those freakish baby arms creep me out!

#7 Ghoulies

These little guys know how to party! Their slimy, crawl up through toilets and are summoned by Satanic worshipers who have no idea what they are getting themselves into. The first film was directed by Charles Band who was also responsible for many of the Puppetmaster and Trancers sequels. The effects were also one of the earlier works of the late Stan Winston who did Ghoulies a year after his work on the first Terminator.

The infamous toilet crawling scene was actually added into the film after it had wrapped. It came from the mind of Charles Band when he was trying to come up an idea for a promotional campaign for the film.

These little demons spawned three sequels which just got worse and worse as they went. In one sequel they harass a dumbfounded Andrew McCarthy at college. Sure this is a Gremlins rip off but Ghoulies really took the concept into another arena of the B-Movie. Ghoulies did help Charles Band become one of the most successful B-Movie makers of the 1980s. During the late 1980s and early 1990s he even rivaled Roger Corman.

#6 Basketcase

Ghoulies may have been a more successful franchise but when you think about the complications of making our next monster believable I think you have to see why he slips past those tiny little hell-raisers.

Basically Basketcase looks like a tumor with arms who lives in a basket and is psychotic. He also has a name, Belial. What he is actually is the remnants of a conjoined twin. His very naive and attractive brother, Duane, cares for him and well leads victims to Belial. The film’s plot revolves around the conjoined twins hunting down the doctors who separated them.

Belial came from the mind of Frank Henenlotter, who wrote and directed the film. He was also the hands of Belial when he grabbed his victims. Henenlotter guided the series into two sequels.

In future episodes, the twins meet an assortment of freaks, Duane tries to reattach Belial, Duane goes to an asylum, Belial gets a girlfriend and they have offspring. Another reason Basketcase ranks above Ghoulies is that with each sequel they continued the story and believe it or not. Belial became a character you wanted to know what happens to. I am not sure a love interest was the way to go but that is just something you have to see.

Oh one last question, could Belial and Quatto be cousins?

See you back here Thursday as we reveal the top five “pint-sized” monsters.

So Says the Soothsayer.

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