Movie Review: Atlantis: Milo’s Return

FYI: They never use a vehicle like this in the movie. Stupid marketing!

Disney is a mass marketing, all consuming, tug at our heart-strings and take our cash kind of conglomerate. Put movies back in the vault, so make sure you buy them up until they disappear and come back with a new media format. (Paging Netflix)

Atlantis: Milo’s Return is everything that is wrong with Disney. I want to get this straight off the bat. This is not a movie. It’s disguised as a movie, but it ain’t one. What you get here is the reunion of the team of heroes from the first movie as they go on three 20 minute mysteries. And at the beginning and end you have a bookend stories that tie to the first film. The mysteries contained in middle feel like leftover Scooby Doo episode scripts. Except here we have double the characters and no near the fun. 

I liked the first movie. I am probably a member of one on that but I did. I liked the rag-tag group of people assembled. I saw them as sort of the turn of the century A-Team. The story was sound and the hero was a geek like me. Well this follow up has none of the charm or substance of the first film.

I have to admit if the first mystery was kind of fun. It was kind of like Atlantis meets 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. What would have been cool is if they in fact did meet Capt. Nemo. But instead it becomes all Scooby Doo.

Don’t get me wrong Disney’s sequels direct to DVD aren’t supposed to be great. But I have to admit some really worked for me. Return to Neverland, the Little Mermaid sequels come to mind. Cinderella 3 was soooo out there and it is something that has to be seen to be believed. And as a foot note, Oscar-nominated Toy Story 3 was supposed to go straight to video.

Milo’s Return is not in the category of interesting, creative or at least tried variety of direct to DVD ventures. It’s just awful.

1 out of 5

So Says the Soothsayer

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