Movie Review: The Berserker

Thor may be hammering its way to the top of the box office. But he is hardly the first Viking warrior to grace the silver screen. Norse mythology is incestuous, twisted, blood-stained and fruitful. Thor is hardly a tip of the iceberg.

While Thor is probably more inspired by Norse myth than a true representation. (Norse Deities are not aliens or portal jumpers) It does try to establish some great Norse characters like the doomed brotherly love between Thor and Loki. Odin, ruler of Asgard, Heimdall the valiant guardian of the Rainbow Bridge and well the war with the Frost Giants.

Taking into consideration these beloved characters and bringing the ideas of Vikings back down to Earth we begin our list with 2004’s Berserker.

10: BERSERKER (2004)
This direct-to-DVD movie barely beat out the Viking Sagas for the #10 spot because of just how weird it is and like Thor proves that if you mess with the Norse God dynamic your movie falls a part. The movie is based on the Norse myth where Odin has imprisoned one of his most beautiful Valkyries Brunhilda (yes, to Viking’s that’s a hot name) and only a warrior pure in heart can free her. Thor gets a hard-on for his hammer, the warrior in this movie gets a hard-on for, well, hottie Kari Wuhrer.

The movie desperately tries to hold together but the whole Viking/Norse mystique vanishes when the movie flashes forward to present day. They wanted to turn the whole Brunhilda storyline into a doomed lovers storyline where the hero tries to save his love but fails and keeps getting reborn until he can save her. Think Highlander except this guy’s really, really horny!

I put the movie ahead of Viking Sagas only because while they are both horrendous movies, this one does have Craig Sheffer and Kari Wuhrer, who I do have a soft spot for.

2.5 out of 5

Come back tomorrow for #9 as we count them down. Here’s a hint this Viking has “six million” reasons to be on our list.

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